Some people may make decisions about death and dying together as a family.

You may choose to have these conversations with your loved ones, and they can help you think about options available to you at the end of your life including voluntary assisted dying and help you through the process.

You do not have to discuss voluntary assisted dying with your loved ones or carers if you do not want to.

Doctors have an obligation to protect your privacy and right to confidentiality. This includes any discussions you have with your doctor about voluntary assisted dying. Your doctor cannot talk to your family, friends or carers about your decision unless you say they can.

The role of your family, friends and carers

Your loved ones can be with you when you talk to your doctor about voluntary assisted dying. There are some important things to be aware of that are outlined in the law:

  • only you can ask for medical help to die
  • no one else can ask for voluntary assisted dying for you
  • no one can make you ask for voluntary assisted dying.

The law says that steps and safeguards need to be followed. This makes sure you are not being pressured by another person to choose voluntary assisted dying. It also makes sure choosing to access voluntary assisted dying is your choice.

Your family and carers can support you through the voluntary assisted dying process by:

  • discussing end of life options with you
  • being a part of your conversations about voluntary assisted dying
  • going to your appointments with you
  • asking for more information about voluntary assisted dying
  • helping you plan for a voluntary assisted death
  • providing comfort
  • providing spiritual, cultural or religious care
  • being with you if you decide to take the medication.

What do I say to my loved ones?

Talking about your preferences for the end of life can be difficult and emotional. Many people do not like to talk about death and dying. Yet, having conversations about your death and how you want it to happen may help those closest to you understand your wishes and help better prepare them for your death. It can also make it more likely that you receive the healthcare you would prefer at the end of your life.

There is no right or wrong way to talk about death and dying. Your doctor can support you to have this conversation with those close to you.

Having open conversations about your end of life choices allows you to consider how you:

  • would prefer to live your final weeks and days
  • want your life to be celebrated and remembered.

Some people in your family may find it hard to understand your choice to access voluntary assisted dying. They may disagree with you. However, they cannot stop you accessing voluntary assisted dying if you want to, and you meet all the eligibility requirements.

Even if your family or friends do not agree with your decision, they may still be able to provide you with support.

You can also talk to your doctor about additional support if the people important to you do not support your decision.

People may have different views. It is important you talk or yarn with someone you trust.

Support for your loved ones

When someone is dying or has died it can be a very stressful and sad time. Differ​ent people have different ideas about how much they want to know about death and dying. There is no right or wrong way to deal with this difficult time. Your family and friends’ responses will be shaped by their beliefs, values, culture, experiences and circumstances.

Grief is experienced differently by different people. There is no right way to feel when losing someone. Grief can be complex, and it can also start before a person dies.

Your coordinating doctor will support you and your family, friends or carers throughout the voluntary assisted dying process.

Further information and resources are available to help your loved ones during the process as well as after you have died. This includes practical information about what to do immediately after your death, as well as support services they can contact to help them through their grief. You can share this information with them. Different people will need and want different levels of support.

The information on this page was prepared with support from Queensland and Victoria Departments of Health. It has been used with permission.


Current as at: Tuesday 28 November 2023